Expectations are Meant to be Broken

Expectancy Violation Theory

“Into the tavern stumbles a middle-aged woman, her hair a mess. Passing several empty tables, she crashes into a seat not five feet from your party.” While this kind of D&D set-up would surely indicate a NPC worthy of scrutiny, if not conversation, in the real-world, not so much.  People who do not conform to common social conventions are suspicious at best, dangerous at worst. Violate our expectations of what constitutes “normal”, and we’re triggered, in the same way the DM triggered their players with that stumbly woman above. 

Judee Burgoon’s keen on exploring the implications of physical distance. In her theory, we each have Reach. For some, we prefer to extend the invisible space of comfort around us. We’re like the Polearm Master. Others of us (Assassins in particular), don’t mind people up close (Dagger, Dagger, Dagger). Expectancy Violation Theory (EVT), however, says that we each feel the dialectical tension of our desires for affiliation/closeness and privacy/distance. Taken as a metaphor, it’s a great player/NPC personality trait to play with in your game: Desire for Affiliation. If you want your Rogue to blend in, consider describing synchrony. It means miming your nonverbal behaviors off of a target. (In real life we might even do this unconsciously). In-game, it might provide an advantage in infiltration or persuasion.

Burgoon makes note of several clarifications when it comes to expectations. These reflect some basic assumptions of D&D. First, expectancies are what is predicted, not what is desired. “Darkening your picnic, a shadow: massive, long-necked,  and winged cruises. Cattle flee from reigning fire.” Now I’ve hopefully set a clear expectation, but likely not a party’s desired expectation. Second, as we experience different contexts, relationships and people, we develop expectations for them. The monarch’s court, the city sewer, the docks. Each evokes expectations. Thankfully, as a DM, you can get a lot of mileage out of both confirming expectations and by violating them. A raucous, lively dock-side bar full of mariners is interesting. So is a strangely quiet quay, where boats gently bob on placid grey water. Third, thanks to people being people, cultures tend to display a lot of broad similarity when it comes to the structure of their expectations, but variety when it comes to content, at least according to Burgoon.

Akin to Alignment, violations of expectations vary from Evil (negative) to Good (positive). Negative valences we ascribe when something is less than the expectation (“We only give paid 4 gold each?!”). Positive valences we reserve for when something exceeds our expectations (“The Archfey gave me my memories back”). Sometimes, the valences are equivocal, like the Neutrally-aligned. When these puzzling events occur, we’re likely to search for context clues that might signal how we should understand the occurrence. In game terms, we resolve these with Arcana, History, Insight, Investigation, Nature, Perception and Religion checks.  

Not all NPCs are cared-about equally. And parties should not expect to be universally welcomed, admired, or well-regarded. For the Dungeonmaster who wants to motivate players toward one NPC or another, consider working with what’s called “communicator reward valence”, the total positive and negative attributes that the NPC brings to the encounter summed with potential future rewards and punishments. The aristocratic patron with a deep purse who lies to the party is likely to be less-liked (and interacted with) than a stereotype-breaking baddie who’s turned over a new leaf. Burgoon says that with all things equal, people tend to look to the valence of the violation (positive or negative) more so than potential future rewards/punishments. Reciprocity is expected and a powerful socialization mechanism. Tit-for-Tat, any game-theorists out there?

For players and DMs alike, you may benefit from playing with your nonverbal behavior as you portray your characters. They need not even be performed; merely describing them will do. EVT was initially concerned with nonverbal messages because the expectations we have for them take us immediately to our feelings of safety and protection. Respecting the space expectations of others can genuinely communicate respect, deference, and humility. Violations, potentially something quite less positive.